
V Man
Since then I have seen many new landscapes; green plains mixing soil with sky man and seed in an unbearable mist, plane trees and fir trees, lakes with wrinkled phantasms and immortal swans that lost their voices—scenery unfolded by my willing comrade, that wandering actor, as he played the long horn that ruined his lips and tumbled down with his shrill voice, whatever I managed to build like the Jericho trumpet. I also saw an old icon in a low ceiling hall, lots of people admired it. It depicted the raising of Lazarus. I neither recall Christ in it nor Lazarus. Only, in one corner, the disgust of someone’s face looking at it as though smelling it. He tried to camouflage his breathing with a huge cloth hanging from his head. This man of ‘Renaissance’ taught me not to expect too much from the Second Coming…
They told us you’ll conquer when you submit.
We submitted and found ashes.
They told us you’ll conquer when you love.
We loved and found ashes.
They told us you’ll conquer when you abandon your lives.
We abandoned our life and found ashes.
We found ashes. It remains to rediscover our lives now, that we have nothing left. I imagine that the one who will rediscover his life beyond the piles of papers, the many emotions, the so many debates and so much teaching, he’ll be one like us, only a bit better with memory. We, it can’t be, we still remember what we gave up. He will remember only what he gained from each of his offerings. What can a flame remember? If it remembers a bit less of what it needs, it goes out. If it remembers a bit more than is necessary, it still goes out. If it could only teach us, as it burns, to remember properly. I am finished. Wish that someone else starts from where I am finished. There are times that I feel I have reached the end, that everything is in its place ready to sing in harmony. The machine at the point of starting. I even imagine it in motion alive like something unsuspectedly new. But there is still something, an infinitesimal obstacle, a grain of sand…







